Speaking Out, By Sara Bagg

I suppose I should introduce myself – I'm Sara, Christian's big sister. This is my first appearance here at Crip College as I've been invited to write a guest article for ‘Speaking Out'. Given that my Mom is so active on the website and that her general focus is to offer wise words of encouragement and hope, I thought that maybe I should take a different approach. I toyed with doing what many big sisters do best—which is to tell stories at their baby brother's expense for a laugh. I can assure you, I have no shortage of stories to tell—wheelchair related or otherwise—of Christian's antics. Ultimately though I decided to save the stories for a future appearance, as I remembered that I have something to say.

The general themes of this website seems to be educating people about what it's like to be in a wheelchair and how to cope with this fact. The Tricks of the Trade section, for example, is full of hints about how to adjust yourself with ease to the world of the upright. The title of the site ‘Crip College' sends the message that the onus is on the wheelie to learn how to deal with being in a chair—and the site provides no shortage of support and reassurance that while the learning curve might be steep—YOU CAN DO IT!

To all you wheelies out there—I do believe that you can do it. Whatever ‘it' is for you. I am ridiculously proud of my baby brother. I can't wait to tell new people that I meet that my brother is a para—just so that I can brag about how great he's doing and what a success he is. All this being said, my message today is more for the uprights out there who are your friends, family members, co-workers, or acquaintances. The message is this: don't take your wheelie for granted. Do not underestimate the energy that is required to cope with life in a wheelchair and do not assume that just because somebody in a wheelchair has the capability to function in an upright world, then that means that they should be expected to at your discretion. He or she may be perfectly able to bump up a flight of stairs—and they will—but this must be at their own convenience.

While Christian is an amazingly good sport about getting piggy backed into a party or peeing in the backyard when he can't fit into the bathroom, I would never be so bold as to expect these things from him. In addition to this, my brother does very little complaining about nerve pain after a long day in the wheelchair. He doesn't seek sympathy because his washer and dryer are in his basement which requires him to scootch down the stairs and spend the day reading magazines while his clothes get clean. Christian laughed along with the rest of us when my 6'6” boyfriend bailed while helping him into our house the other day as they tumbled to the ground in a tangled mess of limbs. It is my pride in his ability to cope and his capacity to function that makes me so respectful of the dignity he brings to his circumstances. It is my firm belief that all those in Christian's circumstances deserve this respect—lest we forget that these individuals are indulging us in our stair-filled upright world.

Reprinted with permission from www.cripcollege.com