Right On, by Kathryn Bagg

I have just finished reading a great book that was recommended to me by someone at www.bcdisabilities.com . It's called Reflections from a Different Journey: What Adults with Disabilities Wish All Parents Knew . It is edited by Stanley D. Klein Ph.D. and John D. Kemp. One of the many reasons that I like this book is because it confirms my view that the two keys to good parenting are giving unconditional love and encouraging independence. This is true in any parent/child relationship, but becomes all the more important in the case of a disability.

As it happens, there is not an article in this book written by someone with a spinal cord injury, but it doesn't matter. There are essays by people who are blind; deaf; have cerebral palsy, spina bifida, Asperger's syndrome, muscular dystrophy; and the list goes on. The interesting thing is the message that is repeated throughout—one of appreciation of love freely given combined with the occasional kick in the pants when required.

A number of the people who have contributed to this book are very successful in their chosen field. We all recognize that to achieve this success they have worked harder than would have been necessary without the disability. However, it is also true that dealing with the disability in a no-nonsense fashion has given them the extra strength that is required. As you may know, Christian takes issue with the word inspirational; he just sees himself as industrious and practical.

I have recently heard two different stories of young men who are not doing well when it comes to moving on with their lives post injury. I have not met either of them, and hesitate to make sweeping judgements about what their issues may be. However, after reading this book, I feel even more confident that a little push wouldn't hurt. The concept of tough love applies in so many situations.

Christian's success in life is due to many things. I would never suggest that his father and I should take more than our share of credit. He was never a malingerer; it was not something that we had to deal with. What I will suggest is that by not encouraging your child to be independent and responsible, to whatever degree he is able, it is possible to do harm. We have two children, one can walk and one cannot. They both work hard, play hard and enjoy their lives to the fullest.

Reprinted with permission from www.cripcollege.com