Get It On

Get it on

When thinking of articles to write for this site various topics rise to the top of my mind - places I've visited, things I've done, people I know and … sex. Why sex? At first I thought about how most of the guys I know in chairs actually do all right for themselves in the relationship department. In fact, most do more than all right. Then I thought back to when I first broke my back, when I went from being a 20-year-old guy who could give any girl the best two minutes of her life to somebody who didn't even know how to take a leak. I remember the feeling of uncertainty, so this article is for those who are questioning now what I questioned then.

Usually the first question following, “Will I ever walk again?” is “Can I still have sex?” Now, the reply I got from my ‘rehab specialist' was long and confusing. “Can you feel this? Can you feel that? Does this work? Does that work?” But it wasn't the answer I was looking for. In reality the answer is always ‘yes.' It doesn't matter exactly what works or what doesn't because if sex is only about penetration, then why are most lesbians smiling?

The doc will probably tell you about your options for getting “it” up. Viagra, Cialis and Papavrin are a few options, but keep in mind this doctor, whom you're trusting to tell you to what degree you'll be able to perform - might not be that great in the sack himself!

This might sound crazy, but when I broke my back the female population got lucky. It saved them from having to lie on their backs straining to look impressed while I did my best impersonation of a sewing machine. Yes, although I'd love to have not broken my back, it did make me better in bed. I had to change my technique 'cause I couldn't do what I used to do. (This is also good advice for the able-bodied population; at least that's what the girls say.)

How do you change your technique when you didn't have one in the first place? My advice is to read, read, and then read more. Read lots of books on sex, and even try some with no pictures. From my experience the books written by women are better. I think you'll start to find out that what you were able to give a woman before you were injured isn't exactly what they were looking for anyway. Remember that if you get to a point with a girl where sex may be an option, don't freak out. Unless she's blind then she knows you're f#%*ed up in some way and is clearly open to whatever options there are. Just take things slow (slow is always good) and keep the lines of communication open.

Knowledge is power and if you're confident about what you know and how you can make someone feel, then you'll forget about the insecurities you have about your gimpy little legs or pissing through a straw, and start enjoying the fact that you can get rejected just as easily as your able-bodied friends.